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Partner and Head of Family Law, Rugby
Well it’s the morning of February 15th and you might be basking in the afterglow of a very romantic, loving evening where you were showered with compliments, good food and other gifts. You might be in a right old ‘strop’ because your partner either forgot or was just ‘too busy’ to get you a card or gift and you might have spent the evening either not speaking to each other or just answering “ …nothing’s the matter, I’m fine.” in that trite, slightly hurt voice, we all seem capable of using when we want our partners to feel guilty without actually telling them what they should be feeling guilty about! You may have spoken with your loved one prior to Valentine’s Day and agreed it was all a commercialised rip off and made a pact that you wouldn’t be buying each other anything as the money could be better spent on something far more practical (and boring)! Whatever happened yesterday and however you’re feeling today, life goes on and any disappointment will hopefully be soon forgotten and forgiven and equally, sadly that rosy glow will soon evaporate as the demands of everyday life kick right back in.
I spoke to several clients yesterday who are in the throes of separation and divorce and were really struggling with their emotions. The fact that it was Valentine’s Day just made it harder to manage, all that they could think about was the fact that they were on their own and had absolutely no hope of receiving any card or gift. Those of you who have gone through relationship breakdown will know that self worth and confidence can fall drastically as you rake through the embers of the life you had with your ex partner. The feeling that you aren’t lovable or desirable is not uncommon when you are feeling abandoned and rejected and even if your ex never bought you a card or a gift for Valentine’s Day during the whole time you were together, that can get forgotten when you are attaching so much significance to the ‘what might have been’.
So spare a thought for those who are on their own whilst you’re buying the red roses, wine, chocolates and card for the one you love and maybe give them a call or give them a hug just to let them know that they are cared for and appreciated, that will truly go a long way to make them feel more positive.
If you would like any advice, please contact me.